We are all carrying the weight of something that's too heavy for us to bear. Your weight isn't any heavier than mine, and mine is no heavier than yours. I think there are some folks who like to compare and contrast our hardships, our hurts, our traumas against others. I'll never understand why that is. "You don't know what I've survived" or "I know I'm stronger than him because" or "She could never handle the types of adversities I've had to face" when the truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter because what we fail to realize when we are in the middle of voicing out all of our stuff, is that we have all dealt with some stuff, getting over some stuff, found ourselves in more valleys than peaks, we are all healing from many things. There are many of us carrying and coping and dealing with some shit, if I can be frank.
You are not alone in what you are carrying. You don't have to overexplain your presence or lack thereof, you don't have to talk about your horrible truths all the time, you don't have to make yourself feel good by putting others down, by judging others, or commenting on their decision making.
The holidays can be really hard for many of us. Some of us deal with seasonal depression around the holiday season, some of us are still trying our best to navigate the effects Covid is having on our relationships and the toll it's taken on our family members, some of us are grieving loved ones that have passed on, some of us are unemployed and living alone and afraid.
Before your speak, make sure you are not projecting your stuff onto others. Be aware that you are not alone, that if you are going through, someone else may be going through. Operate from a more loving, compassionate and grace-filled space. Respect people's privacy, respect their autonomy, respect people's very personal and private energy shifts, and don't make everything about you.
What I've learned about carrying something that's heavy, you have to learn how to put it down and when to put it down before it causes you and those around you harm. You have to realize that it's not even yours to carry.
Love and light,